Grandparents Rights to Grandchildren in US

Divorce typically isn’t easy on anyone involved, especially the children. The fact of the matter is that, more often than not, the fallout that happens when a couple splits up causes significant ripple effects on the people surrounding that couple. In some cases, those around suffer more than the couple getting the divorce. Everything – from the school the child attends to grandparent’s rights to grandchildren – can become a battle site in the arena of divorce.

What makes things even more complex and frustrating is that there really are two levels to this idea of grandparent rights to grandchildren.

• There is the legal aspect: that component that the courts determine based on whatever rules are on the books.
• There is also the personal or moral aspect: that component that takes into account what is right and, especially, what is in the best interests of the children.

What the Law Says

Grandparent rights to grandchildren can vary greatly from one state to the next. Some are more stringent, while others are more favorable. In terms of Federal law, the issue has primarily been addressed via a famous Supreme Court case, Troxel v. Granville. That case, in a nutshell, decided that state laws which apply to third-party (usually grandparent) visitation were too far-reaching, and that visitation could only be enforced when it was specifically “in the best interests of the children.”

As you can see, there isn’t a clear-cut national consensus when it comes to law. It’s always a balancing act, where judges and lawmakers want to consider grandparent rights to children, but they also want to protect parents’ rights to raise their children as they see fit.

Unfortunately, some parents turn the issue of grandparent rights to grandchildren into a battle in the divorce. A man might want to bar his former in-laws from having visiting rights out of spite. A woman might keep her former in-laws from seeing a child as leverage for some other, non-related component of the divorce negotiations. In the end, it’s the child (and the grandparents) that suffer.

The Right Thing to Do

If divorcing parents would be willing and able to take a step back and look at the situation objectively, they might just be more favorable to grandparent rights to grandchildren. Even if they didn’t like their former in-laws, there is a case to be made that their child is truly better off with some degree or another of exposure.

Maintaining grandparent rights to grandchildren isn’t just a good idea. There can be some serious long-term potential psychological consequences when children are forbidden to see their grandparents. Among them are:

1. Grandparent alienation syndrome:

This is the idea that the grandparent and child will experience significant anguish and loss due to not being allowed to see one another. This loss is significant, and can be similar in type to losing a grandparent to death.

2. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder):

PTSD is common among children in divorce, and the loss of a grandparent in that process is a contributing factor. A child may close up inside himself, experience nightmares or night terrors, become depressed, or have other PTSD-related symptoms.

3. Abandonment issues:

Loss of a grandparent because of divorce can create serious social alienation. The child might feel like her grandparents have abandoned her, or that they no longer love her. The child may feel guilty that the grandparent isn’t around anymore, causing symptoms from insecurity to malnutrition to depression.

4. Trust issues:

Children very rarely are privy to all of the divorce and visitation negotiation process. They may have trouble trusting their grandparents, their parents, or any authority figure.  Any time a divorce happens and children are involved, grandparent rights to grandchildren need to be addressed. It is almost always in a child’s best interests to maintain contact and relationships with grandparents, regardless of whether or not their parents are together.

Maintaining that contact doesn’t guarantee a child will be well-adjusted or make things easy by any means, but it can soften the blow and help make the transition to the new family realities at least a little bit easier.